Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Single Woman

Some single people do not mind being single. Some are even excited about it, doing this on purpose! But everyone who is attached is darn determined to find a cure for this disease.

"Oh, you'll find someone!"

"You just haven't met him yet!"

"You would totally be perfect with my nephew/cousin/ex-boyfriend's sister's ex-boyfriend"

This may very well be true.

And I played along with this game for a bit. Maybe I was willing to let myself be set up with a friend's boyfriend's best friend. Maybe I got a little excited because your cousin sounded great. Maybe I spent some time with a guy that I didn't really think was all that great because I wanted some company.

I'm done. The last couple of months have been lovely. I like being single. I do not care if the entire year of 2010 passes and I do not lock eyes with some guy over a flickering candle and Chicken Parmesan. I find it offensive when someone calls me "recommendable". You recommend restaurants. Movies. Your favorite ice cream. A person is not recommendable. I attend weddings and other functions alone because I'm not interested in baby-sitting. I'm so used to being the extra wheel that I can literally wrap up an entire evening spent with a "group" and not realize until I'm home that I was with four couples.

I'm pretty sure this bothers other people much more than it bothers me.

Let me spout off a few reasons I love being single:

  • When my house is filled with ladies next week Saturday for girls' night, I don't have to kick anyone out.
  • In the next week I have three dinner dates! Two are with girlfriends of mine and one is with a girlfriend and her husband. I like this. I like that there are so many people in my life that I dine with regularly and I don't know if I would do this if I was someone's girlfriend.
  • If I want something, it's totally on me to make it happen.
  • This is silly, but I like that I can keep the thermostat at the desired temperature and don't have to consult with another on grocery shopping.

This should not be misconstrued- I don't have a bitter perspective from being jaded in the past. I'm also willing to date, but I'm certainly not going to date just to date.

Perhaps if I was even mildly impressed with the fishies in my sea, I would have a different attitude. But the fact of the matter is- the water I'm swimming in is not glistening with great men. Plus, the longer I am single the more I get to

So. Single. Satisfied.

It should not be a personal mission of anyone to "hook me up" which is what often happens to the single woman. If I decide to date it will be because I met a really great guy and am excited to get to know someone, share me and grow. And, just a hunch, but I'm guessing it's not your mom's neighbor.


  1. If ever a post warranted a "You Go Girl!" this was it! :-)

  2. I feel like I could have written this entire thing. Creepy. Definitely well put.

  3. ...PERFECT time to come visit me in New Orleans... whoop whoop!!! Mardi Gras season starts next week!! :D

  4. This is fantastic--as you know from my similar post (, I completely relate to this. I like the frankness with which you address people's attempts to set you up. It may be true that those people are good fits, but so what? What's wrong with being single (for some people--I'm not looking to push this philosophy on others)?

    I have to admit, I'm still excited by the idea of dating and meeting people. And the chase. Gotta love the chase. It's my instinct to fall into the pattern. Hence the reason I set aside a few months to be intentionally single. Doing so may seem constricting to some, but so far it has been SO freeing for me.

    Best of luck in your journey--I hope you continue to write about it from time to time.

  5. I totally agree! I've always hated dating. It was such a relief when I finally realized, just because I'm single doesn't mean I have to date!
    I love my life, and I see no reason to try and change it now.